Hi friends,
When
told me more about the work she does as a postnatal doula, my first reaction was pure, delayed FOMO if that’s a thing. A pang for something I’d never had but would have LOVED. A non-family member / non-healthcare-professional popping in a few times a week to take care of me when my babies were small and the day-to-night-to-dayness of feeding, burping, changing, sleeping and crying felt relentless because it was, no matter what maternal bliss the photos of those times may show.
If you’re new to The Cost of Caring series there’s quite the archive of conversations with creatives who are also caregivers for you to watch or listen to. In these chats, we take a deep and often intimate dive into what it takes to provide care and reflect on the ways this role influences our creative practice. If you’ve missed any of the previous episodes, you can tune in now right here for all the videos, or here for the Spotify audio including the most recent episode with
on her experience of caring for her spouse (and two small children) during a rollercoaster career year:
Back in November, I chatted to Nan Shepherd Prize Longlisted and Observer Poetry Collection of the month writer
on baby loss, neurodiversity and taking care of ageing parents:In conversation with Wendy Pratt
Post-birth care
What struck me in this conversation with Chloe was the persistent lack of support and understanding of the seismic physical, emotional and psychological changes that matresecence brings, whether you’re a first, second or many-times-over new mother. I do think we’re getting better as a society in acknowledging this, thanks in no small part to Lucy Jones’s book — Matrescence: On the Metamorphosis of Pregnancy, Childbirth and Beyond — and writers here such as
, and but there’s yet more work to be done. Part of my working life is spent developing and delivering training for a whole range of professionals who support new mothers and their babies, including nurses, midwives, health visitors, early years practitioners and library staff. Their aim is to help bonding and attachment through sharing songs rhymes and stories, but this is only possible if that mother is rested, heard, understood, nourished, respected and supported.It takes more than a village to raise a child, and that village is increasingly hard to find.
Chloe speaks about how how her approach to doula work — which at times means less of the getting stuck in and more of the standing back and letting things unfold no matter how tricky — informs her approach to writing. Sometimes, switching up the pace is necessary for change and progress too, and of course fresh air and bracing cold water dips help… This reminded me of a recent episode of
‘s podcast, Tiny Acts of Bravery, where she chatted with on bearing witness to life’s challenges. The need for someone not to come in and offer solutions but simply to affirm. You can listen in to that here:
We can’t wait to talk to you, the Membership community, in the comments. Remember, this space is only open to you now and if you’re yet to upgrade your subscription, you can do so right here. It’s the most impactful way you can support my work (which means supporting the two in the pictures above, really).
Coming up…
Lots to look forward to over the next few weeks and months, so head to the Membership Hub for all the key dates, in particular the next live Seasonal Session for late Winter and four-week run of Writing for Better Health:
And stay tuned for an announcement about a brand new conversation series, launching in the spring. More on this in a couple of weeks, as well as an invitation to apply to take part. I sense many a juicy conversation, make no mistake.
For this week, though, we’ll see you in the comments to talk about post-natal care, your experience of working with a doula, your feelings on matrescence and anything else our chat has sparked.
Lindsay x
Share this post